Bird Language: Physical Touch

            When one thinks of birds, the word “touchy” probably doesn’t spring to mind, but like us, avians are tactile creatures. Like us, they make relationships, show affection, and love one another with the meeting of bodies. They use talons and beaks for hands and fingers, and even some of the most dangerous of predators can be gentle and affectionate. Below, you will find a few of my favorite examples of how birds, like humans, express love and friendship in the language of touch.

            But first, let’s start with the body. The body of a bird is highly specialized, connected all the way back to dinosaurs, the raptors, sixty-five million years of evolution that has led to the ease with which they fly. Beneath their millions of woven feathers, birds are thin and light, bones—not hollow! by the way—and bodies filled with highly oxygenated blood that give them the ability to propel skyward and quickly move oxygen between their muscles (except for those too heavy to fly or who use water currents instead of skyways). They have incredibly high metabolisms due to the energy it takes to move their lithe bodies through the wind, remarkable eyesight that lets them spot food from miles away, and vocal cords designed for singing and complex vocalization. The body of a bird is fragile and strong at once, and to share it is a display of vulnerability.

            The most common way that birds show their love is through preening[1], which aides in the maintenance of their feathers. Preening is the bird’s way of brushing hair or giving a pat on the back, but it is also an incredibly important behavior for their survival. The act of preening can help birds weave together their feathers to keep them warm and clean, a process referred to as ‘zipping’ or ‘un-zipping.’ Preening also involves the spreading of oil across their contour, or outer, feathers, which acts as a water-repellent, further protecting them from the elements. Preening is usually an individual activity but can also be a bonding behavior between a pair bond or members of a flock, solidifying their connection and trust. To let another preen you would be like trusting someone else to tuck you into bed, to put on your coat, to tie your shoes. Preening is a love that says ‘let me protect you,’ ‘let me keep you safe.’

            Birds tend to thrive in cold temperatures, with their thick mass of feathers and warm blood. Usually, they survive winters with a combination of preening and countercurrent circulation, a type of warming that involves the circulation of blood in their bodies. But when these things are not enough, some birds find a more tender way to keep warm. Here, in Washington, flocks of Black-Capped Chickadees, called banditries, engage in a cuddling behavior when the temperature dips and the rain moves inland[2]. Huddled together on a tree branch or in the hollows of a bush, the banditry squishes together and rests, conserving energy and heat. A love that says, ‘let me keep you warm with my own body,’ ‘let me share this space with you.’

            But there is no touch like that between bonded pairs of birds. In many species, pair bonds last a lifetime, and the maintenance of the relationship is paramount to not only the continuation of the species, but the happiness of those in the pair. Mid-flight, two Bald Eagles latch onto each other by the talons and execute a ‘Death Spiral,’ falling hand-in-hand for hundreds of feet before letting go[3]. An intense test of trust, the Eagles hold each other, a very literal way of falling in love. ‘Fall with me’ their love says, ‘trust me to let go of you when I need to, but hold you when I must.’

            The love and commitment between a bonded pair of birds is beautiful and queer. A famous ‘throuple’ of Bald Eagles raised a clutch of eggs all together in 2017. Two males, both named Valor, and a female, Starr, each took on a range of parenting duties when the clutch hatched, and all mated (or attempted mating) with each other during the peak mating seasons[4]. In an Australian zoo, a pair of male Black Swans, Billy and Eliot, were given a fake clutch to parent after displaying nesting instincts[5]. In Hawaii, Laysan Albatrosses often raise young in lesbian pairs[6]. The love between birds is intense and uncaring of heteronormativity. ‘Love is love,’ the birds say, ‘love is everywhere.’

            I ask: How do you preen your loves? How do you preen yourself? How do you offer others safety and warmth? How do you share space, share your body? How do you display your trust? How do you fall in love hand-in-hand? How can your physical body express the love you feel? And where do you feel love in the physical spaces within and around you? Let yourself feel it. Love is love. Love is everywhere.


[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preening

[2] https://www.si.edu/stories/keeping-warm-winter-birds

https://snjtoday.com/birds-huddle/

[3] https://threeminutesoutdoors.com/2024/02/14/bald-eagle-death-spiral-deadly-mating-ritual/

[4] https://www.thecut.com/2019/04/i-love-and-respect-this-bald-eagle-throuple.html

[5] https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/12/a-gay-swan-couple-built-a-nest-together-so-the-zoo-gave-them-3d-printed-eggs-to-raise/

[6] https://www.discoverwildlife.com/animal-facts/hawaiis-lesbian-albatrosses

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Love Languages: A Musing